a grief course

I stayed up all night sketching, and on the first break of light, went out running.

I was drawn to thinking about grief. A friend is grieving the loss of a loved one. She said, “grief doesn’t go, it just transforms itself”. I agreed there. Then I thought, doesn’t it also have the capacity to transform me?

That solved a thing or two for me. Over the next 8 km distance, I went over all that I have lost, worthy of grieving. Did I really lose? Did it loosen me anyhow? What all do I want to lose? How would I like to perceive the concept of ‘loss’? Does loss/gain actually exist?

Is grieving conditional? dependant on culture and conventions; or is it spontaneous and serendipitous? Does grief allow, the often closed, deep caves to be opened and entered?

What is the opposite of grief? is it Joy?

How does it feel?

…such I ran the course.